I’ve been thinking about kinks and fetishes a great deal lately. I’ve always been very interested in any sex that’s considered out of the ordinary (the more twisted, the better), and the “odd” things that turn people on. Much of my life has been spent fantasizing about these topics.
I know a great deal about many odd desires, but I know that there has to be more out there. I know that there are mindsets and views I haven’t seen it from.
With that being said, I’m inviting you to share your kinks and fetishes with me. I want to hear about your dark, twisted fantasies. I want to hear about the secret things you don’t tell anyone. I would love to hear what gets you off, and what thoughts cross your mind when you’re masturbating (if you get to do that). You don’t need to worry about judgement or shame.
You can leave your thoughts and fantasies in the comments or you can email me at goddessrheia@hotmail.com if you don’t want to share your sexual desires with the world. Feel free to share as many or as few details as you want. Anything you share by email will be kept private unless you request otherwise.
-Rhea
Training Narcissus 
Your very brave . But I think you will have lots of fun 😸
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When I have a moment I will comply with your request.
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Here is one thought I have always had, since I have never created a scene with anyone and have only had my wife and it’s pretty normal to get into the bedroom and do stuff but when it comes to fantasies and kink, this is more of a question to you and everyone, going from day to day getting home from work, is there more of a pretend persona role playing takin on a fake personality sometimes to put your self and your partner in a mind set that takes you away from day to day and puts you in the fantasy? Since your the dominant and he’s the submissive during play do you find your self using specific styles of speach and language that keeps you in the kinky mindset of sub and dom? Since a sub only serves out of there own desire you can’t make them serve you does breaking the persona and speach ever ruin or take away from certain types of play times? I mean if you told your sub to do something and he just said no I don’t feel like it do you still feel like he’s your sub in that moment and do you still feel like the dominant and has that ever happened?
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Thank you for your questions, they’re quite interesting.
I can’t speak for every Dominant woman, or every d/s relationship, so this is just about me and my perspective, of course.
I do not pretend, or role-play my dominance or my sex life. For me, my dominance isn’t fantasy, and I don’t have to change things up to make it more serious. I don’t adopt a certain style of speech or a fake persona. Now, if I suddenly decided to role play something totally out-of-character, such as a nurse, or a schoolgirl, then thee would be some acting on my part. For me though, my dominant personality is who I am.
While a sub does serve out of some of their own desire, it could be said that everything a sub does isn’t out of their desire. I can promise Narcissus’ idea of a grand time isn’t always my idea. He doesn’t want to fetch me every coffee, tea, or other beverage I request, every single time. There are times he’d like to be lazy when I tell him to do something, I’m sure, but part of being a sub is setting your own needs aside and fulfilling the needs/wants of the dominant. As you said, I can’t REALLY make him serve me, he has to choose to, but that’s how I want it. I want service where the person doing the serving WANTS to do it. That doesn’t always mean that I expect to get a super enthusiastic “Yes ma’am” right away, but it means that the sub is going to set their own wants aside to do what I say, when I say. Could I punish the daylights out of someone and make them bend to my will? Sure. However, I don’t do that because then I don’t feel I am getting genuine service. I don’t really want to be served just out of fear of being punished.
Now, does all that mean that a sub never has arguements about what you ask of them? No. At least, in my case it doesn’t. There’s been times in our relationship where I will request something from Narcissus and he would argue about it. Those are the times that lead to loads of discussion, and figuring out why he didn’t want to do it. There are times that his reluctance has been valid, such as when I asked for a massage recently, he didn’t want to because he was suffering from a lot of back pain, and that I understand, but there’s times when it’s not valid too. From time to time, Narcissus just feels lazy, or not up to it. Those are the times he gets to be reminded of his place. However, even when he says “no” I don’t feel like he’s any less of my submissive. I don’t feel any less dominant, either. We simply handle the situation, depending on what it was, with communication, or punishment if the offense warrants that. We haven’t had any problems with him not doing what I say during a sexual act for it to take us out of the mood of sex, either; his cases of defiance have always been during mundane things, so I can’t really say how it would effect that aspect of our lives.
I hope this response gave you some insight and answered some of your questions. Like I said, it doesn’t speak for everyone, and there are definitely people out there who just live more of a in-the-bedroom lifestyle, which is fine too, but we are more of the “all the time” people.
-Rhea
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Hello, Rhea.
I had a quick question or two about something you mentioned in these comments. The biggest question is in regards to Narcissus’s submissive mental space. When you wrote:
“However, I don’t do that because then I don’t feel I am getting genuine service. I don’t really want to be served just out of fear of being punished. ”
I believe there is a mind state that kind of splits the difference in regards to being excited to serve but it also requires a bit of dominance (they don’t have to be the threat of punishment) to get him there. It seems like you aren’t fond of the idea that shifting him into submissive mental space and that the service would be less genuine that way?
I am a bit curious. I was attempting to share a fantasy when I realized that I no longer have individual fantasies, only lifestyle-oriented fantasies that involve maintaining that submissive mental state.
Take care.
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Hello furcissy,
It’s true that I don’t like the idea of pushing Narcissus into a submissive mindset just to serve. If he doesn’t want to serve me out of his own submissive desires and respect for me, then no, I don’t feel the service is quite as genuine. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t ever do anything to keep him in more of a submissive mindset. I often reward him with words, and teasing actions for his service to me, or when I randomly feel like it. I like obedience, and I want to be listened to out of respect. I like when a submissive is fulfilled by pleasing me, and doing things for me selflessly. I put a lot of thought into taking care of Narcissus and his needs, in return; our relationship is a two way street, still. As far as me putting him into a submissive mindset, we have activities for that, such as certain bondage and acts that take away his power, but we don’t do them for the sake of him serving me.
I hope that answers your question, but if it doesn’t just let me know.
I was curious though, when you say you only have lifestyle-oriented fantasies that are about maintaining the mindset, what are those for you? What sort of fantasies, or actions keep you in your own submissive mindset?
-Rhea
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Thank you, Rhea.
It answers it a little bit, but it still does leave some things up in the air for me. I tend to view a mental space as being a bit different from a mindset. I find that I have two fairly distinct personas, one of which is my vanilla self that I use in public, at work, and the like. The other is my submissive self that sees the world from an entirely different set of eyes. The submissive self is where my vulnerability and deepest feelings and emotions reside. While both sides want to be submissive and to cherish the one I love, the difference is the submissive self is a “better” version, one that is never lazy or resistant and tends to be a lot happier and more enthusiastic. The submissive self also has different depths of submission that it reaches, but an example of my feelings from that persona re sort of like: I exist to serve and please the one I love. The most important things in the world are her happiness and my devotion to her. I love her absolutely and want to be perfect for her and be anything she needs me to be. Often it takes something simple, like a small ritual (e.g. kneeling and kissing her hand), to trigger this mental space.
I took almost a four year break from blogging and it has only been since I returned that there seems to be a lot of negative views upon a sub functioning better while in a submissive mental space. I’ve been trying to understand why and how these views are coming from.
As for the other questions you had for me… I have lived in a 24-7 dynamic several times, unfortunately my “forever” was snuffed out by tragedy. In those times we would use rituals, etiquette, protocols, dynamics, and rules to keep me in a highly focused, and highly obedient mental space. I want to be perfect for her and staying in that mental space makes me better at that. One example of something that has a function is a punishment dynamic. I rarely needed to be punished (once every 2 months?), but its existence served as a factor that kept me in that mental space. I hope that I am making sense. One way of describing it is that while both vanilla and submissive selves want the same thing, the submissive self is free from the stress and distraction of the outside world (at work I have to be a take charge alpha) and so it never wavers or hesitates.
Last year I wrote a short, non-sexual lifestyle fantasy that is full of aspects that would keep such a mental space going:
https://fcsyblog.wordpress.com/2017/03/20/a-quick-ds-fantasy-breakfast/
If I wasn’t able to describe this adequately please let me know.
Take care.
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I do not disagree that a mental space and a mindset are different, at all. I simply think that my personal sub should be able to serve me, even if he’s not in a completely submissive mental place at that given moment. As far the negative views in the blogging world, I’m honestly not overly familiar with them. The blogs I read are mostly positive, and I haven’t seen anyone really talking negatively about sub’s mental space, or mindset, in regards to serving. So I’m really of no assistance when it comes to that curiousity.
I am sorry to hear that your dynamic ended with tragedy. All the things you said did make sense to me, and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me.
I read your non-sexual fantasy and it was insightful to you, so thank you for sharing it.
-Rhea
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Thank you, Rhea.
I do agree with you that a sub should be capable of serving in any state. I know in my own case I prefer my service to be enthusiastic and excellent but I am not always capable of feeling that way without the mental space. I am trying to gain more understanding on different views.
Unfortunately most of my fantasies are mostly around maintaining the “I exist to serve you” mindset and the means of maintaining that so they probably wouldn’t be of much interest to you.
Take care.
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Is there ever a difference in how you want narcissus to treat you between public and private in front of family and friends vanilla situations? Have you ever felt or witnessed any type of teasing or gender stereotype jokes or humiliating things said to either you or him? I don’t judge how people want to live but I do believe Men are Men and Woman are Woman, but have you ever wanted narcissus to act more manly in anyway be it competing with other guys becoming more of a handyman, a lumberjack type of guy, is there ever a fear that friends or family may view him differently than you do? If so how do you think you would really deal with that? And follow up since this goes with the fantasy my fantasy i want a woman to want me to be a man for her like a coach to a athlete to build and strengthen to set physical and education goals to rely on me to be the one to do better like loose weight eat healthy grow me to make sure that I earn more money push me and guide me and control me since she is in charge I want to make sure that no other guy is better than me and have all the other woman see me as an unobtainable prize and that I only submit to one queen and it’s not them, do you ever feel that as a woman who is leading a man, do you want to show him off do you want to make him better if he lacks somewhere to make it a goal to make that part better and to teach him things to make him the best man for you? Sorry that was alittle long?
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Hello,
There is a difference in how I want Narcissus to treat me in private, versus in public. The one thing any situation has in common is I expect to be listened to and respected. In public I imagine we seem rather basic, like everyone else. Our dynamic isn’t overtly on display. The only “dominant” thing I do in public is make certain decisions about purchases and the like, but that’s not uncommon in many households. Women often make purchasing decisions, so I don’t really see this as a matter of D/s. I am also a huge believer in the fact you shouldn’t include anyone in your “scene” who hasn’t consented, so I never make Narcissus do things that might make others uncomfortable. We don’t have any special titles that we call one another all the time, so when he addresses me in public I don’t expect it to be done with any certain words, either.
When it comes to gender stereotypes and jokes, that is something that everyone has to deal with sometimes. As far as our actual dynamic goes, my family seems to notice it more than his. My mom has always known how dominant I am, and always expected that I would be controlling, to some degree, in a relationship. Occasionally my mother will call me bossy when we’re around her, but it’s done in more of a teasing than serious manner. His family is more reserved in what they will say to people, so they’ve never commented on our natural dynamics.
We’ve had friends make jokes about how controlling I am, as well, but I’ve never been bothered by it. I don’t subscribe to gender stereotypes, or roles, and I am a firm believer that people can do whatever they want. So I have never really cared how people see me, or Narcissus, as I don’t care about people’s judgement anyway. I can’t imagine that when people look at Narcissus, and how he acts with me that they see him as anything other than polite, respectful, and helpful. Many people often talk about how they wish they could get their partner more involved, and to help them more, and I never have this problem. We receive compliments on our relationship, and how strong it is, from friends all the time. So no, I don’t have a fear that people will see Narcissus in a bad light, just because he’s submissive to me. If someone said that he was weak, or something along that line, I wouldn’t really pay it any attention, because people are full of opinions, and views, and oftentimes they aren’t even secure in who they are, and they don’t like themselves.
As far as how Narcissus acts with other men, I have never had a desire for him to be anything but himself. I don’t actually enjoy seeing “pissing contests” between men. I think that it can often perpetuate toxic masculinity for guys to be trying to out-do one another in some way. That is not to say I think it’s unhealthy for men to compete in healthy activities, if that’s what they want to do, though. Narcissus is a fairly self-confident person, and he does not have questions about his own masculinity so he does not feel the desire to try and out-do another man, just for the sake of being “more manly”. He is more than willing to learn from other males (or females even) if it’s an area he isn’t knowledged in, as well as teach others if there’s something that they want to know from him. He will sit and listen to people talk about experiences, without trying to out-do them with his own. I honestly can never picture myself being with a guy who always feels he has to out-do every male around him, in some fashion. I like a guy who is confident and secure in who he is, without being cocky. I think fragile male egos is a real problem, honestly.
I think it’s great that you want a partner who will help build you up and strengthen you as a person. Many good relationships can be formed on that.
Thank you for sharing your fantasy and your questions. If you’re curious about anything else, let me know.
-Rhea
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