When I Want

It’s been awhile since I’ve done any blogging based on our lives. That’s because we’ve been pretty busy. I won’t bore you with that though.

I’ve let Narcissus orgasm at least three times that I haven’t talked about on here. All of them were when I wanted them, and how I wanted them, of course. I’m sure he was happy, too.

I’m not the type of keyholder who wants her partner to never orgasm again (nothing wrong with it if that’s your goal) but I’m also not the type of keyholder who wants her partner to orgasm when he wants to. I truly only want him to orgasm when I want him to. Is it about his pleasure? Sometimes. Is it about my pleasure? Always. When I let Narcissus orgasm, rather that’s after one day of denial, or thirty days of denial, it’s always when I want it.

There are many reasons why I want him to orgasm. One, I like to watch him in that state of pleasure. Two, I have an occasional need to be filled with his cum (I’m finding I’m not the only dominant female like this). Three, I want him to truly know that he will orgasm when I want him to. That’s why his days are so varied.

I strongly believe that Narcissus understands that he will get an orgasm when I want him to have one, but I don’t think he always understands that we will play when I want to.

For example, on Tuesday, we were about to go to bed, and I knew he was really in the mood for some stimulation, and I wanted to tease him. So, I started playing with his unlocked dick, stroking it nice and slow, and sometimes fast, until it was as hard as it was going to get. I continued playing with it for a few minutes, never bringing him to the edge, only letting him enjoy my touch; and then I stopped.

Boy, he was upset. He looked at me and asked me, “Is that it? That’s all I get?” He then went on to tell me how he was getting pierced in less than a week and that I wasn’t taking advantage before his dick was going to be out of commission for a while.

I smiled at him and told him to go to sleep. He huffed and was upset, and I knew it, but he didn’t say anything else. I fell asleep before him, so I don’t know how long he laid there, upset with me. When we woke up he told me that he was sorry for how he acted and that I shouldn’t let what he said influence how I do things. I appreciated the apology, and I reassured him that what he said wasn’t going to influence me in any way.

Wednesday I decided I wanted to have penetrative sex, so we’re in bed and he gets to start by rubbing my clit, and sucking on my nipples, which turned into him giving me an oral orgasm. Then, I began stroking him with my hand, nice and slow again, getting him as hard as I could before slathering his dick in coconut oil. I continued to stroke him, the coconut oil making my hand glide that much smoother over him. I know it was feeling good, I could tell by his reactions, but I stopped because I was ready for more.

I climbed on top of him and instructed him to put his hands over his head and not to touch me. He listened of course, and I slid down onto his dick, giving myself a couple moments to adjust. Slowly I began moving, and he started thrusting up into me, as normal. However, I had a very specific want in mind, and that was simply to fuck him, so I told him to stay still. He nodded and held his hips still while I rode him.

I told him, “I’m going to fuck you until I orgasm.” And that’s exactly what I did. He wasn’t allowed to move at all, nor touch me for the entire duration. At one point he asked me if he could move yet and I told him no. That was the only time he asked. After I had my orgasm, I pulled off of his dick and laid there a couple of minutes, basking in the pleasure.

He began begging could he please just have a few more strokes inside me. I told him no several times, as he continued to ask. Finally, he accepted he wasn’t getting anymore and off I went to shower.

He insists he wasn’t upset or bothered by this at all, but I don’t think he was exactly prepared for something like this either. Normally our penetrative sex is a mutual thing where we both thrust, move, and touch, so I think this was a bit of a mind-fuck for him.

He has mentioned that we’ve only had penetrative sex twice this week though in reference to the upcoming piercing. I think it’s really bugging him that he won’t be able to do anything with his dick while it heals. I tell him it will all be worth it in the end.

Overall, I think he’s slowly learning that we will play when I want to play. It took him a while to understand that I was in control of his orgasm, I don’t expect this to be any different. It’s an interesting and fun process to watch someone fully hand over their sexual pleasure.

-Rhea