This post is trailing my last one fairly quickly, especially when you look at the breaks I had started to take in between posts, but I suppose with me figuring myself out again, I’m bound to have a little more to talk about now.
Last time, I talked about the long distance aspect of our D/s relationship. Now, I’m here to talk about the “together” side of it.
Mrs. Fever, collaredmichael, and furcissy all gave amazing ideas on how to continue our dynamic in ways that fulfill the both of us, even when apart. We have been discussing a lot of them whenever we get the chance, and working out the specifics on how we’d do it. I’ll talk more about that as we actually get more concrete, solid ideas and plans in place.
I visited Rhea Monday, and stayed there until today. On the first day, I noticed that my sex drive was rather high, but in a good way. I didn’t feel consumed by it, but driven, motivated, disciplined, and every time throughout the day I saw her in my favorite pair of jeans that she owns, instead of fantasizing about fucking her, I fantasized about touching her, kissing her, and most of all, tasting her sacred pussy, or feeling the inside of it with my fingers.
So that night, I begged her to let me taste her, and thankfully, she allowed it. I got exactly what I wanted too; her forcing my head into her wet cunt as she ground it against my face, me shoving my tongue as deep into her as I could possibly get it, and her cumming in my mouth.
After she came, I loved the state it left me, us, in. Because I didn’t get anything done to me, or have an orgasm, I didn’t have to deal with the drop. I didn’t feel tired, or like I was suddenly yanked from the moment. I could really look at what I had done for her with my full attention, and that, alone, really got me off.
The next night, when the question of sex came up, I found myself in the same place. I really wanted to put my focus and attention on her, but didn’t want anything in return. When I told her this, it made her ask me what was the reason for suddenly wanting things this way. It was a good question to ask, because honestly, I hadn’t put any thought into it myself. I gave it some time to process before gathering my thoughts and explaining them the best I could.
I can’t say that I’ll explain it any better here, but I’ll try.
I told her that I was tired of the focus and attention I had put on my dick for so long, and dealing with the refractory period of orgasms. It was something I had dealt with for so long from the addiction, and now that I’m out of it, I wanted to step away from it for now.
So after another night of me going down on her in an extremely sexy fucking time, we decided to talk about things a bit more while we laid in bed. She asked if cutting out PIV sex altogether for now was something that I wanted. I couldn’t answer that then and there, so I slept on it.
After thinking about it some more today, I told her that saying we are cutting out PIV sex entirely is something that would add a certain type of pressure that may hurt things, but I would like to take a 90/10 approach. This would cut our ratio down to 90% of our sex would be me solely focusing on pleasing her, with the other 10% involving us both. I also added that I would like to include orgasm denial again, because that is a big factor in what would keep me at this level I like.
Even though I started to over explain myself, she quickly understood it, and thought that it’s a good plan. Of course, none of this is set in stone to be exactly what I say, because she is the one in charge. However, she always encourages me to tell her my thoughts and feelings, so she at least knows where I’m at and what I’m going through. Communication is always key.
While it was a bit intimidating to fully say that I don’t find much interest in having things done to my dick anymore, I do feel it is an accurate statement about the current place I’m at in life. I’m most definitely intrigued to see where this, and our long distance aspect, goes now that we’re in an evolved place in our relationship that’s healing.