Defining Sexuality

It’s a new year; 2017. Wow, just reading that number looks like a thing you’d only see in science fiction movies. Ya know, the ones where we’d have a cure for deadly diseases, hover cars, and robots that did everything for us. Needless to say, we’re far from that. People are still dying from cancer at alarming rates, our cars are barely becoming just eco-friendly (not that that’s a bad thing either), and a lot of us, at least that I personally know, still prefer our own kind to do what we need for us. Maybe the horror stories the movies told us a lot of times through this is what stopped us from taking the risks of attempting to create these things.

Regardless, the state of our earth and civilization isn’t what I’m here to discuss, really. There’s one thing that’s been a part of us since the dawn of man, hell, life itself, that hasn’t had it easy; sexuality.

Always a controversial, barely understood topic, everyone has their own opinion on what sexuality is and how it’s defined. I think that the problem lies within itself. As a species that barely scrapes the surface of what their brain is capable of, I think the pressure to define what makes up sexuality is the least of what we should be concerned about.

I’ve been dealing with trying to define myself for the last few years, and as Rhea stated she only recently came to her own conclusion. I don’t feel she was wrong for finding, and stating, what suits her, and this post is in no way a knock against that. We all have to have something to say or know to narrow down our potential mates and partners. To an extent, like names, some sort of sexual orientation is needed to make things easier. I mean, we COULD describe people as a way to let others know who we are referring to, like saying “ya know, the tall, skinny guy with the scruff”, but wouldn’t that describe a million other people and still have you lost? You’d be there forever trying to narrow it down, and the same goes for sexuality.

However, I feel that we’ve become too wrapped up on trying to stay within the definitions of what makes us what we are, and what we like as people.

Sexual preference acceptance has come further than it once was. After all, you can say that you like the same sex without immediately getting stoned or executed (though sometimes I question how far we’ve really progressed from that). To break it down a bit, let’s use a very basic equation;

A man that likes another man makes him gay, or at the very least bi. Simple enough, right?

At first glance, sure. When broken down though, not at all.

How do you define what makes a man? The first and most obvious thing is probably their genitalia, but how are you finding what you’re attracted to by something that’s likely hidden the first time you actually see them? Unless you’re using Superman x-ray vision, or they’re extremely hung to the point of it bulging out, it’s likely not gonna happen.

There’s likely other things that will bring you to this conclusion, such as their facial hair, deeper voice, etc. You know the dick is there, and it’s a plus, but you’re probably not going after this alone if you know nothing about it beyond it’s existence.

We are people, and our bodies are our vessels. We are given our gender to help reproduce and continue population, but beyond that, does it truly matter? We are what we feel we are. By this logic, we can be whatever feels right to us, and thank goodness we live in a world where we can make this physical modifications to change our vessel into that if we want to.

I’ve went this whole post talking about people in general, so I suppose it’s only right at this point I put the spotlight on myself.

This thinking and analyzing started a few years ago, just when I started to explore my sexuality more and think about what I liked and enjoyed, without the influence of what I SHOULD be enjoying. I loved being pegged, I looked at transsexual women no different than I saw someone who was born with a vagina. I welcome all female-identifying individuals with open arms. I found things generally considered “girly” fun, and didn’t want to participate in many things people think guys should do.

Needless to say, this made me question myself. We live in a world where all of this still can have you placed in the gay category; which wouldn’t bother me in the slightest, but I knew that I wasn’t attracted to men, so doing that wouldn’t be right.

I feel so many men live by the pressures of society, going by the various definitions, that they lose focus on what they’d actually enjoy if they let those boundaries go. By the simplest of terms, I’d consider myself straight just to keep it simple, if I don’t feel like explaining that given day. To go deeper, however, which is the first time I’ve done this beyond telling Rhea, my sexual preference is for all things feminine. I love a woman’s voice, their touch, their body, their ability to grow life and give birth to it, so many things that I honestly can’t put into words. Do all of those things make a woman? No. What makes a female is feeling like one; knowing they’re one. That’s not my way of saying “know your place, woman”, but my way of saying enjoy what you want, live freely, and most of all, be yourself.

-Narcissus

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