Recovery Update 1

As the title stated, my last post was a very personal one. I don’t think I had even accepted fully what I was dealing with then. Yeah, I knew what it was. I knew it was going to be tough, I knew it was going to have benefits, but it wasn’t something you could be prepared for.

You just have to accept the challenge, and take it on.

I did just that, and while there’s been a few times I was close breaking, I didn’t. My conscious (or subconscious, depending on how you look at it) knew it wasn’t what was truly right for me. With Rhea there to help and guide me, I managed to pull myself back to reality. Also, I’ve had the help and advice of Mrs. Fever and her husband, who is dealing with the same thing, and they’ve been amazing at sharing advice and words of encouragement.

From everything I’ve learned about the issue (and still am) I am becoming better at coping with it. Replacing the “void” in my life that masturbation and porn filled for so long. I’m getting back into things that I used to love and enjoy, such as art, movies, projects, and most importantly, my relationship with Rhea and others around me. I’m starting to feel great and enjoy life again, even with the tough times I have to deal with momentarily during this reboot.

I’ve noticed that as time goes on, my submissive side is coming back from the grave that the addiction had relentlessly tossed it into. I’ve felt more of my love for Rhea come to the surface, and keeping her happy is something I’m actually excited and eager to do.

Because of that, I want to revisit some things we used to love, and wanted to implement more of into our relationship. One of those things for me personally was pet play.

Sexual aspects aside, I’ve always really loved the feeling and act of being Rhea’s, totally and fully. I’ve never been into being a full on pet that included some of the more drastic measures some take, but I don’t judge them either. However, being collared and leashed was one of the things about it I’ve always loved the idea of.

That being said, it struck me one morning to propose the idea to Rhea that we get a collar, leash, and pursue it more.

I asked, and she agreed.

We went to the store, and picked some out. I got to try it on later that night, and the feeling was great. Beyond that, we didn’t get to use it much because we were really busy with the holidays approaching. However, I can’t wait to use them more. I can also say that our sex is improving. It didn’t seem like anything was lacking in it, but I can definitely say there’s just something better about it. If I had to put it in words, I’d say that I feel more aware of the smaller details and feelings that comes with it, emotionally and physically, that were missing during my addiction. A feeling that was there before I got hooked.

With all of this being said, I know this probably seems like a rather uneventful post. But is that really a bad thing? In this case, I’d say no. I’m glad to be able to say life is fairly normal and calm while finding more things about it that I love and re-discovering things that I used to love.

– Narcissus


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