Self-permission

Our blog headline says “One couple’s journey of enforced chastity and a female-led relationship”, and that damn headline holds me back from writing, far too often. When we decided to start a sex blog, I didn’t envision having such a narrow field of topics, yet it somehow transformed into that. I want to be able to write about my own insights on myself, and my sexuality, and sadly I let that headline hold me back.

So, after months of talking to myself, and having many arguments with myself about expectations and blah blah, I’ve come to the decision to write about whatever I want that is related to myself, my sexuality, my dominance, or just some random thing that I feel fits. With that said, you’ve been warned: this blog won’t be strictly about locked penis.

I was letting that headline hold me back from writing, from participating in the sex-blog world that I really enjoy, and was causing me to judge myself in a lot of ways, honestly. Lately though I have been trying to better myself, spiritually and mentally more than anything, and not letting that headline hold me back from doing something I enjoy is part of that.

My dominant feelings have been in high gear lately, and I have strong cravings to beat Narcissus, as well as do other painful things to him, so he will be suffering this upcoming week, for my amusement. I feel very lucky that I have someone that participates in these things with me, because I know there are people out there not getting their fix, and I feel for them.

Like all people, my desires, fantasies, and wants shift. Currently, I really am wanting to do something with a girl. No, that doesn’t mean I am in any way unhappy with Narcissus. If you didn’t know, Narcissus and I have an open relationship, and it’s not something we use often, at all. In fact, even though we’ve been together eight years, and our relationship has been open all eight of those years, neither of us has had sex with anyone else. We’ve both talked to other people, and wanted to engage in activity with other people, but things have simply never happened. It’s not issues between us that stops things, it just ends up not working with other people. We’ve yet to find people who are truly okay with the open relationship thing, and want to do more with us. I’m not talking with us as a couple, either, I’m talking solo. Though we are also good with other people as a couple, too.

Anyway, back on topic. I’ve been wanting to dominate a girl. It sounds simple enough, but things like this never are. I don’t know how I would go about finding someone I’m interested in, honestly, because I’m not social. I don’t know anyone really, and I really don’t have plans to suddenly become ultra social. However, I would like to find some girl/s I’m interested in, so I need to do something. Maybe I will get it figured out soon.

Anyway, I didn’t so much have one big topic to write about today. This was more about giving myself permission to write on the blog again. After all, a big part of blogs are about self-discovery and I won’t discover anything if I’m always creating fake rules for myself.

-Rhea

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One thought on “Self-permission

  1. It’s good to see you writing again, and you’re right – it’s easy to get bogged down in self-imposed rules, particularly those we never realised we were creating.

    Liked by 1 person

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