I would like to start out saying how thankful I am for the comments of support we’ve been receiving. It’s good to know that there are supportive and kind people out there who have been in similar situations, or at least somewhat understand what we’re going through. I also would like to thank those who have shared advice and wisdom regarding our current situation.
That being said, let me talk about what’s currently happening. I will warn you now that this post likely won’t be very well structured, or look super clean. I still can’t really talk about this subject in clear, well-defined words that aren’t confusing. This is because the situation is still a bit baffling to me, and I’m still just expressing a lot of emotions, rather than clear thoughts about it.
We had a turn of events. We met Flower. We had tentative plans to meet him when I posted my last post but I didn’t want to talk about them because I’m weirdly superstitious and I believe that would have jinxed it. We almost didn’t meet due to some strange phone issues, and things of that nature, but things worked out in the end. My pessimistic side almost gave up and didn’t even bother going, because I automatically assumed the worst and figured he had backed out and wanted nothing more to do with us, but I didn’t. I am an extremely negative, over-thinker and ever since I have started talking to Flower I have assumed he will back out at some point.
Anyway, Narcissus and I both met him, and I think it went well. We met at his house because he lives about an hour away, there really aren’t any middle towns between us, and I didn’t want to have to sit awkwardly in a public setting, and try to force conversation. He was totally cool with meeting both of us (which was really nice) and we all seemed to get along well, too. We talked about a lot of regular, everyday stuff, and they had quite a bit in common, which was good because it helped them to bond on a level. One of Narcissus’ fears in all of this is that the other person won’t like him at all, and won’t want him included in any way, shape, or form. I have reassured him that I won’t get involved with someone like that, but fears are a hard thing to put logic to.
Meeting him put some of our fears to rest, but also caused new ones to arise. Narcissus has a really big fear that I will suddenly start to like Flower more and just leave him. I have done my best to reassure him over and over that it won’t work like that. I have explained to him why I wouldn’t want to be with Flower in the same sort of relationship that I am with him, but again, that whole fears and logic thing just doesn’t mix.
Narcissus has said that he knows realistically that these things won’t happen, but sometimes the stupid voice in your head just sneaks up on you and whispers terrible lies to you. He does his best to not feed into them, or let them control how he feels, and he does a really good job overall. Sometimes he simply has to express these fears to me, and I always encourage that. If I don’t know his fears then I can’t help him with them, and I always want to be able to help and support him through everything he’s going through. None of these problems have been a threat to our relationship, and neither of us regrets having the open relationship that we do. They’re just simply some small emotions and problems that we have to work through together.
Another thing that bugs Narcissus a bit more than he’d like to admit is the fact he hasn’t found anyone, yet. I tell him to be patient, and remember that good things take time. I think he’s starting to feel some self-doubt and wondering does it have anything to do with him. I can assure you, it isn’t him. It just has to do with the fact it’s really hard to find people that are understanding and accepting of the whole open-relationship thing. We’re doing our best to explore more options though, and hopefully we’ll find a route that helps him to find someone, too. I’m really excited for the day that he does find someone he likes.
He has a hard time believing that I will be as okay with him seeing someone else as I say I am, but I know myself well and I honestly don’t think I will have hardly any problems with it. Time will tell though, I suppose.
Anyway, I am really rambling beyond my point here, so let me try to get back on track. We met, we all seem to get along, and we have hopes we will meet up again soon. Now, for some of the details, cause I know some of you are wondering.
I kissed him. He was nervous, and a little shy, but was okay in the end. He was worried that even though we said we’re open that Narcissus was going to freak out and suddenly not be okay with it. However, Narcissus really wants to see me do stuff with other people. Not really in a cuckold fashion (not that there’s anything wrong with that) but more in a voyeuristic fashion, so he actually really liked seeing me kiss him. Once Flower saw that things really were okay he relaxed a little and I was able to play a little more. We made-out like teenagers, and even did a little fondling, but we didn’t go all the way.
A nice time was had by all of us, and we all talked about how we enjoyed it, and one another’s company, and how we’d have to meet up again soon. A small part of me still feels like he’s going to suddenly back out, but time will tell.
Narcissus and I came back to my house, and we had sex. We had to be a little careful because his piercing can get tender with too much friction still, but it was so good. I love the way the jewelry feels, and everything that it adds to our sex. We’re both super excited for him to move up in size with it, too.
Anyway, I’m going to wrap this up now because I’ve already rambled and I will have more to talk about with it soon I’m sure. Thanks again to everyone who has been supportive and offered advice. We appreciate knowing that there are people out there like all of you.