Meeting Flower

We met Flower this weekend. I can’t believe I actually said that. I can’t believe it actually happened. A big part of me never thought it’d go that far, but it did. Now, let me tell you about my side of the experience.

I’m still trying to fully comprehend my feelings on this, so bear with me.

As she said, it almost didn’t happen. A few things got in the way, but fortunately none of them stopped it. We arrived at his house, met him, and a couple of his friends. After breaking the ice, we got to know each other some. After they left, it really gave us three the time that we needed to really get to know each other. I was surprised at how much we truly had in common, and I think he was just as surprised, also. This helped ease some of my worries and fears some. I don’t expect to be involved with Rhea’s outside people as much as she is, but I’d hate to think that she’s seeing someone, or devoting her time to them, and we absolutely hate each other.

I found myself a lot of the time probably talking to him more than her, and had to remember that we were there more for her than myself, so I’d step back and let them have time to each other. She didn’t seem to mind, though, and was just as relieved that we actually got along. I don’t feel like these worries are something that’ll happen with every single person that we get with outside of the relationship, but with this being the first time, there’s a lot of things Flower will have to deal with as we as a couple go through this in nearly a trial-and-error type of strategy.

We thought this would be easy when we first opened this. Then again, I can’t exactly say we thought it’d be anything. We just knew we wanted it, and went with it. Like Rhea said, it sucks that there’s no handbook on this, but there really can’t be, especially with the fact that each person and their relationships are so different. However, we’re here now, and it’s slowly starting to become a lot better after what’s probably the darkest period of it all.

Anyway, back on topic. We talked and hung out, watched some TV, then they began to open up a bit more to each other, and that led to kissing and making out. As Rhea stated, I love the sight of her doing this kind of stuff with other people, so it doesn’t bother me at all. I quite enjoyed the show, in fact.

Even though it didn’t lead to anything bigger, if this is any indication, I’m definitely excited for the opportunities that this has opened for us in the future.

After it was all said and done, we left that night. I was very happy and relieved with how things went, but that dark, hidden corner of my mind tried to creep in on the way home. I started to worry about the fact that we did have a lot of fun, and that meant she may be into him even more than she is me. I started to worry because I know we’ve been together for a while from a young age, and that having something new may make me old news. I know all of this stuff is illogical, but that’s just how the mind can be.

I dealt with these feelings over the period of the next day, just as I knew I would have to, but in the end, it went a lot better than I expected it would. The thoughts or feeling never consumed me beyond a controllable extent.

I’m really happy that I’ve managed to work through any issues I’ve had with Rhea’s help. Words could never describe how much I appreciate her patience and understanding with me. As she’s said, this has definitely brought us much closer, and shown us how dedicated we are to each other and making our relationship work. When weighing the pros and cons of being open, I never thought about the fact that it would help us form an even tighter bond. From that alone, along with its other added benefits, I’m glad it’s a route that we personally decided to take with our relationship.

-Narcissus

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