Keyholder’s Control

It was ironic to me. Yesterday Narcissus talked about how he had a moment where he panicked because it had been quite a while since he had an orgasm, and he had no clue when he’d get another.

This was ironic to me because, well, today was his day. It’s our seven-year anniversary, and I decided a while back that this would be his day. Now he had suspected that today would be his day, too, but he was unsure because he knows how much I love denial. He thought that perhaps, as a gift to myself, so to speak, that I’d deny him today.

As he mentioned already, he was on what I was calling a, “long denial”. Now this, of course, is a statement that’s up for debate, because to some people this period was very short. I made him wait thirty-eight days, which is his longest period yet. Before this I had let him orgasm every seven to fourteen days, roughly, with his previous longest lock up being three weeks.

Why had I decided on a long lock up? The answer is simple, because I like when I deny him. For many people, they love the way their partner acts when being denied, which is understandable. For myself, I happen to love keeping him denied. It makes him want me even more than he already did, and I find it amusing to see how horny he can get. Does that make me a mean person? Maybe, but I already established the fact that I’m a sadist.

So, during this thirty-eight day period, I teased the hell out of him; even more than I usually would. Our sex frequency increased, going from once a day to two or three times a day on most days, and how much he was edged also increased. There were days when he was edged over forty times. I couldn’t even begin to tell you how many orgasms I acquired during this time, while he got zero. It was a very fun time.

I can’t say for sure how long it will be until his next orgasm right now, because I haven’t decided yet. Honestly, I’m not really the type of person to set a date in advance. I prefer to just give orgasms when the mood strikes me. So it could be as early as today, and it could be as late as sometime next year. We’ll just have to see.

Now, some people may wonder, are short or long lock ups better? There is no definitive answer on this topic, really. I am a true believer that the keyholder should give orgasms only when they want to. If they want to make their partner orgasm every single day, then that’s their choice and I say go for it. If they want to deny their partner for a year, that’s also their choice. I think too many people get hung up on the amount of days instead of just realizing that it should be totally up to the keyholder. If you have asked someone to hold your keys, or you agreed to let someone hold your keys, then you should let them be fully in charge.

If you’re truly not liking chastity, and you want to get out, then you should definitely discuss that with your partner, but don’t try and control your orgasms if you do want chastity. If you want to be in chastity, then you need to work on coming to terms with the fact that you’re not always going to get an orgasm when you want it.

On the flip side of this, you also shouldn’t fight your partner when it comes to having an orgasm. I have come across many people talking about how their partner wanted them to have an orgasm, but they didn’t want to because it hadn’t been long enough. You either asked someone, or agreed to let someone take control of your sexual pleasure. This means if they want you to orgasm, then you need to orgasm.

I think some keyholders can feel very frustrated with chastity because of things like this. A lot of locked partners make their opinions clear on being denied, and while I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with expressing how you feel (so long as you do it in the correct manner) I do sometimes think it can make the keyholder feel even more pressured. Imagine trying to decide when you should let someone orgasm when in the past they’ve told you it has been too long, but other times they have told you that you didn’t wait long enough. How exactly are they supposed to find this Goldilocks time-frame of just right? It can be very confusing for some keyholders, and I’m sure they feel like they’re never doing anything right when it comes to chastity.

This has nothing to nothing to do with my own relationship, because so far, Narcissus hasn’t given me any problems when it comes time to orgasm. He also doesn’t tell me when I should let him orgasm. I simply wanted to express my own views and feelings on this topic. I am just one person though, and I understand that not everyone does things the same way. Just some food for thought, I suppose.

I would love to hear other peoples’ opinions on being locked up, and when it comes time to orgasm.

-Rhea

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2 thoughts on “Keyholder’s Control

  1. Reblogged this on Thrill of the Chaste and commented:
    I came across this post, and for the first time it seemed to be appropriate to “reblog” somebody else’s writing into my own blog. Angel and I just had a very similar conversation to this, in terms of planning for this coming Wednesday night when we will be kid-free for the evening. We are already planning a good session with the Magic Wand (yes, it will be strapped to her this time, so my hands can be free for other things!) and I’m thinking a little more play with her new butt plug will also be in order!

    Anyway, as it relates to this post, Angel mentioned that the only question will be whether or not she decides to let ME out for an orgasm, or keep waiting all the way until her birthday in late September as we’ve discussed before. Both ideas are very exciting to me so I have told her it is completely her call! Even just this morning, as I kept hitting the snooze button to put off getting ready for work while I snuggled up behind Angel in bed, I told her that (not that my vote matters here) but at that moment I would have to say I’d like to just keep this feeling going until her birthday. On the other hand, I’m sure that in the heat of the moment on Wednesday night I will really want to be out! So that decision is really best to be left completely up to her!

    I identified a lot with Rhea’s comment below in that I am choosing chastity, therefore I am choosing to let my keyholder (wife) have that control. If SHE wants me to orgasm, then I will orgasm! If she wants to deny me then I will be denied. If that ever gets to be too much for me, then I know we’ll need to start a conversation about whether or not to continue with the chastity “game” altogether!

    All of that being said, when we both agree to it I also think there’s still something a little extra hot to lock up the keys and put the combination under the control of a site like CarliLock or similar. That takes the control and need for will-power out of BOTH of our hands for a while! I have a feeling something like that could be in the near future for me again..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree completely. As a male in a tease and denial relationship it can get tough. My gf has become amazing at teasing me. Twice I’ve become so frustrated and upset at being denied I threw a fit for real. I felt horrible about it since I am the one who asked her to deny me. Both times I apologized for trying to top from the bottom. In these cases it is the locked who is wrong not the key holder. In the moment when feeling your natural urges being repressed and neglected it gets intense and sometimes I legitimately want it to end. But when she denies me I am always appreciative the next day when I’ve had time to process it. You shouldn’t feel guilty and the one who is locked needs to understand this maybe not in the moment but soon after. I am lucky I have an understanding key holder and think of that disappointing time whenever I feel like throwing another tantrum and it humbles me and reminds me how lucky I am.

    Liked by 2 people

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