As we mentioned in our first post we said we’d discuss our start. So here we go. How did we get into chastity? Well, that’s easy, and not so easy. I will do my best to explain how things went, from my end. Narcissus explained his end already.
We never had a lacking sex life. We’re both very open people who love trying new things and we’ve never been against trying things that are considered kinky, or unusual. Our communication is also good, so we never had a problem expressing what we wanted sexually, either.
So I approached Narcissus with the idea of chastity a couple of years ago. I asked him, “Can I control your orgasms?”. He considered it for about half a second, then said “No!”. This was shocking to me, because I figured he’d want to at least try it, but I could tell he wasn’t going to budge at this point, so I left it alone for a while. My interest in orgasm control never left though. So, around the beginning of this year, I asked him again, “Can I control your orgasms?”.
Instead of him turning me down right away this time, he asked me more about it, and what I wanted. I did my best to explain orgasm denial, but I didn’t mention anything about a chastity device at first, because I was worried this would make him say “no” again. He wanted some time to look into it and think about all of it. So I waited.
I imagine he looked around the internet and ran across a lot of fantasy based stuff, and some real experiences, too. A little bit later (just a few hours) he said he wanted to try it. So we agreed that he wouldn’t orgasm again until I let him, but it had to be within three days, because he didn’t want to wait longer than that initially.
Now, during this same time, we had been talking about female led relationships, as well. The reason we started talking about this is because I have always been more of a leader in our relationship and we’ve always had elements of FLR. I am more comfortable making choices, and deciding on things for us. Narcissus isn’t bad at these things, but he also isn’t entirely comfortable in the position, either. So, when we started orgasm control initially, we suggested starting a full FLR. So we had a lot of changes happening at one time.
Female led relationship was a natural choice for me, because I’m a controlling and dominant person. It took me a while to understand these things about myself, and embrace them, but I’m glad I did. These aspects of my personality always left me craving control. So, deciding to do chastity and FLR was a really good thing for me. I think it was a good thing for both of us, because Narcissus also has some traits that are more submissive. He isn’t a natural submissive fully, but that’s okay. These new aspects of our relationship are making him learn to be more submissive.
Our type of FLR does involve punishment. It involves physical punishment, as well as not-so-physical punishment. I do use spankings, but I also use things like self-reflection time. I use FLR as a way to adjust his behaviors that I don’t like, as well as a way to help keep our relationship good overall. Since we’ve fully embraced FLR we have less small, pointless fights. We aren’t the sort of couple to have huge arguments often, but we’re prone to dumb spats, but we’ve avoided a lot of those lately. It also has allowed us to both see areas of our personalities that we want to work on.
Our orgasm control led to chastity quickly, too (after about just a week). He started to get more comfortable with me denying him release, and he enjoyed the teasing and frequent edges, too. So we decided it was time for a device, which we shopped for together. I wanted to be the one to put the device on originally, but that always led to me pinching him, or hurting him in some fashion. So I had to let this go, and he now puts on the base ring himself. I can put the cage on when I want to without issue with the metal device, but I can’t do it with plastic ones. I lock the lock myself. I wear my keys basically all the time, on a bracelet. I only take it off if it happens to be seriously in the way of something such as cooking (or computer use. The keys drag on the laptop and make an annoying noise).
So in conclusion, both chastity and FLR are very important to us, and it’s something neither of us wants to quit. We had a hard time getting started, but it was worth it. I know this one post doesn’t explain everything about us, but I hope it gives you some idea of us, and how we’re exploring this road together. I hope you stick around on this journey with us, too. If you have any questions, feel free to comment, or email us if you want to be more private.